Let me start by apologising for the scatter-bomb nature of this letter, obviously varied depths of love are generalised to you all.
This year I thought I would make the effort to write an end of year letter since a lot of people assume I actually died a long time ago, entered el monasterio de Santa María de Montserrat, or ran off with Chloe the table dancer from the French Quarter.
Surprisingly not on all accounts, so to quell any further rumours I thought I better send out an update.
Of plumbing and patience.
I’ll start with the dark and move forwards into the light by saying that 2011 was a very uncomfortable year for me healthwise.
Towards the end of 2010 I passed a 1cm (10mm) kidney stone due to the doctors forgetting to zap it properly with their ultrasound asteroid gun. After collapsing on my bedroom floor around 3am one morning and then overdosing by taking a lot of branded Ibuprofen plus a bunch of unknown prescribed painkillers (Ibuprofen!) I called a taxi and headed to A&E. After arriving I was ignored by the hospital staff due to the onset of what could only be described as heroin shakes; and thus not having the energy or ability to complete the required paperwork I walked out in tears, grabbed a cigarette from a passer-by (I don’t smoke) and mustered up the humility to call a friend to pick me up. I passed the stone later that month while dealing with around 400mg pain killers every two hours. This was my fifth kidney stone in ten years, and even as a seasoned veteran this one was the worst of all.
I entered 2011 exiting a toilet and then spent most of it entering one. From what I can only guess was damage caused by giving birth to an oversized calcium oxalate baby, I actually developed a level of urgency which resulted in me having to run off to pee at best two or three times an hour, at worst eight to ten times. It also produced an obsessive compulsive disorder of bladder distrust resulting in me leaving the stall only to return moments later up to five times before convincing myself I was actually done. This ate up hours and hours of my day!
Somehow I managed to hide this from the majority of people who knew me, and I do apologise to you all for being late sometimes. Most of you had no idea that if you asked me to meet you at 17:00 I actually started getting ready to go out at 13:00 and making sure I didn’t drink anything for hours beforehand. I also frequently had to get off of trains lest I wet myself and reduce what was left of my ego to a warm puddle under my feet.
But miraculously (we are now edging towards the light) in July I managed to perform with the other students of my Argentine Tango school for their summer charity ball. Other people tell me it was wonderful, but I personally cannot remember a thing. I was though as fortunate as I was nervous and got to partner with a magnificent dancer who carried me the whole way through. Thank you! xx
Highlights of the night can be seen here: Tango Movement and APARU’s Summer Ball 2011.
You can actually see me delicately placed after the violin around the 1:19 mark.
Unexpected grace.
Apart from dancing in July, I have basically done nothing the whole of 2011 apart from pee and have spent more time in a toilet-stall than a drunk girl does in a nightclub.
I have not been able to travel for a journey longer then around thirty minutes, and only managed to sit through a whole movie for the first time about three months ago. One good thing that has come out of this social inactivity is that I got to read, write and work a lot. I am still working for a web-hosting company based in Docklands, London, and I have done all manner of roles over the last six years. I was working part-time in 2010 due to wanting to read theology and drink espresso; but this year I was asked to come back full-time and so closed Augustine, Luther and Edwards and opened up O’Reilly, readying myself for my new role as a Junior Linux System Administrator.
What was incredible was what happened next…
Since 2010 I have been friends with a Pastor in Myanmar (Burma) called Robert Rabie who with his wife, parents three of his own children and looks after a further five orphans. He serves a small church in the Yangon Region and early 2011 we decided to start a project to help finance further orphanage projects in the future. We have purchased four hundred and fifty trees which Robert farms and we hope to have them priced for their first resin harvest around 2015. God-willing we will have financial resources from this crop for a long time.
But that is not the really interesting bit. Right at the time I came back to work full-time I had just purchased a new building extension for Robert’s church to be used as a school, and committed to pay for his oldest adopted daughter’s nursing college fees. What happened next was incredible. Anyone who has known me for a long enough knows that I have been struggling with debt since 1999 due to mistakes, being underpaid or unemployed. Within a space of two months after returning full-time I was offered the new role as the Junior Linux System Administrator and just as I finished paying my last debt installment my salary was increased substantially.
I remember vividly that evening I walked out of the office in a sort of prayerful daze wondering what would happen next. I had been in debt for 10 years!
Within a few weeks of seeing a need, praying about it and making a commitment, I had the remarkable joy of being able to commit a third of my salary to the various projects in Myanmar including funding a new school and providing the teachers’ salaries. What is quite incredible is that the school was opened with three volunteer university students who had committed their time to teach the children for free. The day I offered to commit to paying them a salary they planned an excursion for the local village children to the Yangon Zoological Gardens. Chatting to Robert about the trip I asked how many children went and how many was it their first time seeing the Zoo. Robert answered that they had taken fifty children and not one of them had ever been to see it before! Most children spend their time working for their parents collecting water or firewood.
Anyway it has been a great blessing to be involved in the work that God is doing with Robert and the church projects in Myanmar. You can read all about Robert and the church here: Believer’s Evangelical Church Myanmar.
If anything Robert has been a great ballast for me in terms of my own faith and feelings of being completely helpless during the storms. He is also given me the objective purpose and responsibility outside myself to keep going when I thought I should just give up life altogether.
On the 11th of November 2011 his wife gave birth to their new son. In August Robert and his wife asked me if I would pray about it and choose a name. Within days I had the name ‘Jonathan’ running around in my head. Robert asked me not to tell them until the baby was born, and neither they or me knew the baby’s gender before birth. In November I asked God to confirm the name and minutes later I realised I had no idea what the name Jonathan actually meant. I knew it was Hebrew in origin but that was all, so I looked it up.
Jonathan (Yonatan) is a common masculine given name meaning ‘YHWH (GOD) has given’ in Hebrew.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jonathan_(name)
I almost fell off the chair, but knew right then that this was the right name. Now I just had to wait to find out if the baby born was indeed a boy. I didn’t doubt it, but I was slightly on edge.
I am happy to say that Jonathan Rabie was born 11/11/11 at 3:45am and the story of his name is known throughout the village and with much joy and expectation for him for the future. Apparently the locals say there is something pretty special about the boy and I know that if he is anything like his Father he will be a mighty man of God.
In ending forwards.
Well this letter is much longer than I expected so I will close it promptly.
2011 was both horrific and humbling but that is not such a bad thing; God knows I need it.
I am happy to say that just before Christmas I went into surgery for an endoscopic examination of my plumbing (which I got to watch?!). Not pleasant but the Specialist confirmed there is no longer any further damage or possible signs of cancer. It is just a case now of looking at some medication to ease me out of the troubles altogether. I am doing much better healthwise but not all clear yet. What is good is that in the last three months I have completely changed my diet and exercise and began to do crazy things such as carrying a 35KG sandbag for two miles and doing weighted pull-ups till I almost puke. I am about to finish reading my third book on metabolic syndrome, insulin and leptin resistance, triglyceride and fatty acid cycles and basically becoming a nutritional geek. I am though in better shape at thirty then I have ever been, oh yes I turned thirty!
2012 I am hoping to spend less time in the lavatory and more time dancing Flamenco, Tango and skating, and being completely amazed at God’s grace towards me. I may lose a leg or something, but if I do I look forward to seeing quite why God had decided to lop it off.
But who knows maybe I will get to learn a different type of lesson this year.
Apologies again for being so verbose, for the surplus commas and for writing to everyone at once.
All my love, and have a really wonderful New Year!
‘Mash (Thomas Herbert).